Most of Saturday was spent solo with my two girls (newly nine and nearly two). We took the boys (twelve and five) and Mom to the trolley and then went in search of bagels. While sitting in the booth enjoying my blueberry bagel with plain cream cheese, there was plenty of giggling, squirming and eating going on. The girls got cinnamon sugar with plain cream cheese (I had one of those, too) and orange juice.
At one point, thinking how blessed I was to be able to enjoy their delicious company, it occurred to me to wonder what the others in the place were thinking. To be honest, they were probably completely engrossed in their own days, flirting at the table in front of us, quickly wolfing down breakfast behind us, furiously typing on a laptop across the room.
But the thought came again a few hours later as we were met on the pathway upstream from the Nature Center by a couple of families. What are they thinking of us? I had two little girls in wellingtons, calf-deep in the dirty Doan Brook with nets.
You might say that I shouldn't think about such things and why would I be concerned about what someone else thinks. You'd be right. And yet, since I'm proud of my children and the strange ways they like to spend time with their dad, I do sometimes wonder what other people are thinking about us.
More than anything else, I don't want observers to be thinking I'm a custodial father (I'm not), only getting his girls on the weekend. It is true that I don't spend nearly as much time with them as I'd (or they would) like. It is also true that I work full-time with a 90-minute round-trip commute. Those are things I can't change easily. Dropping a few evening committee commitments might be possible and is something I have considered and done. Probably the most effective action would be to begin saying "Yes" more to them and "No" more to others.
Yes, I will go stomping in the creek with you. Yes, I will go fishing with you. Yes, I will go to the fair with you. Yes, I will make gummy worms with you. Yes, I will make biscotti with you. Yes, I will sit and snuggle with you. "Yes"—it's such a powerful word.
He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.
