One of the things I enjoy at my employer is the opportunity to encourage and celebrate young Dads. And Moms, to be sure, and older Dads, too, but it is the newer Dads that I particularly enjoy celebrating.
Some time ago, I was approached by a fellow from a colleague's team who hesitantly asked me for some information on FMLA at our employer. I have used it three times over our four children, so his manager was quite right to send him my way! We talked pros and cons for a while, chatted about his wife's health, talked about what he was reading, how he was feeling and as we did so, I could sense the confidence rise in him. I don't know if his hesitancy was about being a dad in the workplace or just the newness of finding out that he was going to be a dad, but as we talked, it was clear that something was changing.
We touched base several times during the months to follow and one day I happened to overhear a conversation that made it sound like the time had come. I poked my nose in further and found out that indeed, he was a new dad! A little earlier than anticipated, but all was well and everyone was home.
In 1996 I was given a banner ("It's a boy!" on one side and "It's a girl!" on the other) and over the years I have used both sides often at my employer. This time was no different and after grabbing a handful of thumbtacks, I placed it, boy side up, on the outer wall of his cube, much to the astonishment of his neighbors who knew he was expecting but didn't know the time had come.
He had decided not to exercise FMLA this time: with the first child, unless there are complications, it may not be needed! An extra hand at home is almost always welcome, but it is with subsequent children that an extended period of time at home for Dad is most useful. (This is my opinion and experience, of course.)
A week or more later and he was back. I bumped into him in the hallway and we had a good long chat. His eyes danced as we talked. I'm not sure what made me think of it but I realized I hadn't heard about a baby shower. A bit later I figured out where they were registered and there were still a few items on the list so my oldest daughter and I picked a few things out. I had moved to the other end of the floor since he had last seen me and so it was wandering around looking for me that I found him next. Oh, how he seemed to welcome the gift!
This hasn't been the only Dad I've encouraged at work, just the most recent. And while each is different and each story has different twists, their reception is the same. Encouraging, celebrating and affirming Dads is one of my favorite "extra" things to do at work. And it may be one of the most important, too.
