CurlyShavings

Most of Saturday was spent solo with my two girls (newly nine and nearly two). We took the boys (twelve and five) and Mom to the trolley and then went in search of bagels. While sitting in the booth enjoying my blueberry bagel with plain cream cheese, there was plenty of giggling, squirming and eating going on. The girls got cinnamon sugar with plain cream cheese (I had one of those, too) and orange juice.

At one point, thinking how blessed I was to be able to enjoy their delicious company, it occurred to me to wonder what the others in the place were thinking. To be honest, they were probably completely engrossed in their own days, flirting at the table in front of us, quickly wolfing down breakfast behind us, furiously typing on a laptop across the room.

But the thought came again a few hours later as we were met on the pathway upstream from the Nature Center by a couple of families. What are they thinking of us? I had two little girls in wellingtons, calf-deep in the dirty Doan Brook with nets.

You might say that I shouldn't think about such things and why would I be concerned about what someone else thinks. You'd be right. And yet, since I'm proud of my children and the strange ways they like to spend time with their dad, I do sometimes wonder what other people are thinking about us.

More than anything else, I don't want observers to be thinking I'm a custodial father (I'm not), only getting his girls on the weekend. It is true that I don't spend nearly as much time with them as I'd (or they would) like. It is also true that I work full-time with a 90-minute round-trip commute. Those are things I can't change easily. Dropping a few evening committee commitments might be possible and is something I have considered and done. Probably the most effective action would be to begin saying "Yes" more to them and "No" more to others.

Yes, I will go stomping in the creek with you. Yes, I will go fishing with you. Yes, I will go to the fair with you. Yes, I will make gummy worms with you. Yes, I will make biscotti with you. Yes, I will sit and snuggle with you. "Yes"—it's such a powerful word.

He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.

Quantum of Solace: The Complete James Bond Short Stories by Ian Fleming

My review

[Note: while reading this book on the bus, I added a cover to it, obscuring the figure on the front. A bit too racy for my taste, at least on the bus!]

One of the things I enjoy at my employer is the opportunity to encourage and celebrate young Dads. And Moms, to be sure, and older Dads, too, but it is the newer Dads that I particularly enjoy celebrating.

Some time ago, I was approached by a fellow from a colleague's team who hesitantly asked me for some information on FMLA at our employer. I have used it three times over our four children, so his manager was quite right to send him my way! We talked pros and cons for a while, chatted about his wife's health, talked about what he was reading, how he was feeling and as we did so, I could sense the confidence rise in him. I don't know if his hesitancy was about being a dad in the workplace or just the newness of finding out that he was going to be a dad, but as we talked, it was clear that something was changing.

We touched base several times during the months to follow and one day I happened to overhear a conversation that made it sound like the time had come. I poked my nose in further and found out that indeed, he was a new dad! A little earlier than anticipated, but all was well and everyone was home.

In 1996 I was given a banner ("It's a boy!" on one side and "It's a girl!" on the other) and over the years I have used both sides often at my employer. This time was no different and after grabbing a handful of thumbtacks, I placed it, boy side up, on the outer wall of his cube, much to the astonishment of his neighbors who knew he was expecting but didn't know the time had come.

He had decided not to exercise FMLA this time: with the first child, unless there are complications, it may not be needed! An extra hand at home is almost always welcome, but it is with subsequent children that an extended period of time at home for Dad is most useful. (This is my opinion and experience, of course.)

A week or more later and he was back. I bumped into him in the hallway and we had a good long chat. His eyes danced as we talked. I'm not sure what made me think of it but I realized I hadn't heard about a baby shower. A bit later I figured out where they were registered and there were still a few items on the list so my oldest daughter and I picked a few things out. I had moved to the other end of the floor since he had last seen me and so it was wandering around looking for me that I found him next. Oh, how he seemed to welcome the gift!

This hasn't been the only Dad I've encouraged at work, just the most recent. And while each is different and each story has different twists, their reception is the same. Encouraging, celebrating and affirming Dads is one of my favorite "extra" things to do at work. And it may be one of the most important, too.

Raising Wild Boys into Men: a modern dad's survival guide by Tony Woodlief

My review

For more Tony Woodlief, subscribe to World Magazine, the Wall Street Journal or Tony's blog (the blog has the most Tony per dollar of the three).

The Tooth of Time: a Philmont adventure by Sterling, Gray

My review

curlyshavings found The Road to the 1800s! (Traditional Cache)

Out on the Buckeye Trail today with the rest of the crew. Went from Everett in the north to Botzum down south on one of the older Buckeye Trail routes for a total of 4.85 miles!

Found this cache on the way to collect the car we'd left at the Everett bridge. Signed the log and headed on!

Please note there's some poison ivy in the immediate vicinity of the cache container!

The oldest needed a five mile hike to complete his Second Class requirements for Monday's court of honor (9/22/2008). So he proposed this (supposed) 4.8 mile hike on the Buckeye Trail. He pulled it out of the Cuyahoga Valley National Recreation Area Trail Guide Handbook (a long title for such a little book) which I believe has now been superseded by a newer volume.

I believe that in the newer volume the trail has been moved from all the roads we walked but since the blue blazes are still there, if you're comfortable walking on the burm of the road, go take a hike!

We left cars at both the Everett Covered Bridge parking lot and Botzum Station and got started under cover of the bridge at about 10:15. The route we took takes you south on Oak Hill Road, past Hale Farm & Village and some school. Before you get to the school though, there's a cemetery at the intersection with Ira Road where the road takes on the Ira name. When Martin Road runs into Ira Road, keep a sharp lookout for the entrance of the trail into the woods.

This is the part that we really enjoyed. The trail follows the natural contours of the earth under the canopy of the trees. Oh, the trees! There were species of many kinds in much diverse collections than what we see in our neighborhood or even at Beaumont. Since our main goal was to conquer the miles, we didn't bring any plant or animal guides. Bad decision, that was.

We broke for lunch before 1pm before the meadow. Saw a toad, some neat aphids and some downed trees.

We ended up splitting up at one point, letting the Tenderfoot get his miles. Some of the others took the shortcut (in pink on the map).

What a day and what a hike! The youngest boy has visions of hiking the entire thing in sections over the years. That would be fun: Ohio River to Lake Erie!

Crossing St. Clair in the morning from Mall B to Mall A (Cleveland, Ohio) is frequently an exciting exercise. There is a crosswalk for those wishing to cross the five lanes (two westbound, two eastbound and a turning lane) however five lanes is a long way to go when you're playing chicken with multiple instances of steel and plastic weighing two thousand pounds each.

As I approached the crosswalk this morning there was another walker considering the distance. I may be a daredevil but my strategy is usually to consider the oncoming traffic for obvious gaps and upon seeing none, I barge forward and stare the vehicles down.

"Fortune favors the bold" I quoted to the man standing there as I stepped out. "Besides, there's a law in Ohio that they must stop."

Turns out he's from out of town and "In New York, they'd never stop—they'd have killed you."

Too true," I agreed and welcomed him to Cleveland."

Something to think about—another reason for enjoying our small(er)-town living.

I read the following on the bus the other day:

". . . for if a democratic republic, similar to that of the United States, were ever founded in a country where the power of one man had previously established a centralized administration, and had sunk it deep into the habits and the laws of the people, I do not hesitate to assert, that, in such a republic, a more insufferable despotism would prevail than in any of the absolute monarchies in Europe; or, indeed, than any which could be found on this side of Asia."

It made me sadly think of Russia.