Some time ago, I was approached by a fellow from a colleague's team who hesitantly asked me for some information on FMLA at our employer. I have used it three times over our four children, so his manager was quite right to send him my way! We talked pros and cons for a while, chatted about his wife's health, talked about what he was reading, how he was feeling and as we did so, I could sense the confidence rise in him. I don't know if his hesitancy was about being a dad in the workplace or just the newness of finding out that he was going to be a dad, but as we talked, it was clear that something was changing.

We touched base several times during the months to follow and one day I happened to overhear a conversation that made it sound like the time had come. I poked my nose in further and found out that indeed, he was a new dad! A little earlier than anticipated, but all was well and everyone was home.

In 1996 I was given a banner ("It's a boy!" on one side and "It's a girl!" on the other) and over the years I have used both sides often at my employer. This time was no different and after grabbing a handful of thumbtacks, I placed it, boy side up, on the outer wall of his cube, much to the astonishment of his neighbors who knew he was expecting but didn't know the time had come.

He had decided not to exercise FMLA this time: with the first child, unless there are complications, it may not be needed! An extra hand at home is almost always welcome, but it is with subsequent children that an extended period of time at home for Dad is most useful. (This is my opinion and experience, of course.)

A week or more later and he was back. I bumped into him in the hallway and we had a good long chat. His eyes danced as we talked. I'm not sure what made me think of it but I realized I hadn't heard about a baby shower. A bit later I figured out where they were registered and there were still a few items on the list so my oldest daughter and I picked a few things out. I had moved to the other end of the floor since he had last seen me and so it was wandering around looking for me that I found him next. Oh, how he seemed to welcome the gift!

This hasn't been the only Dad I've encouraged at work, just the most recent. And while each is different and each story has different twists, their reception is the same. Encouraging, celebrating and affirming Dads is one of my favorite "extra" things to do at work. And it may be one of the most important, too.

At one point, thinking how blessed I was to be able to enjoy their delicious company, it occurred to me to wonder what the others in the place were thinking. To be honest, they were probably completely engrossed in their own days, flirting at the table in front of us, quickly wolfing down breakfast behind us, furiously typing on a laptop across the room.

But the thought came again a few hours later as we were met on the pathway upstream from the Nature Center by a couple of families. What are they thinking of us? I had two little girls in wellingtons, calf-deep in the dirty Doan Brook with nets.

You might say that I shouldn't think about such things and why would I be concerned about what someone else thinks. You'd be right. And yet, since I'm proud of my children and the strange ways they like to spend time with their dad, I do sometimes wonder what other people are thinking about us.

More than anything else, I don't want observers to be thinking I'm a custodial father (I'm not), only getting his girls on the weekend. It is true that I don't spend nearly as much time with them as I'd (or they would) like. It is also true that I work full-time with a 90-minute round-trip commute. Those are things I can't change easily. Dropping a few evening committee commitments might be possible and is something I have considered and done. Probably the most effective action would be to begin saying "Yes" more to them and "No" more to others.

Yes, I will go stomping in the creek with you. Yes, I will go fishing with you. Yes, I will go to the fair with you. Yes, I will make gummy worms with you. Yes, I will make biscotti with you. Yes, I will sit and snuggle with you. "Yes"—it's such a powerful word.

He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.

curlyshavings found Mini Tribute (Traditional Cache)

Take me out to the ballgame! My wife and kids (sirIan, Sweet+Pea and littleChip) are going to a Pirates game today. I, however, am headed to a Cubs game. Of course, we're at the same PNC Park... Afterward we decided to drop by for this cache. Many thanks for showing us this little park.

curlyshavings found The Main Gate (Traditional Cache)

On my way home following an OA Vigil ceremony. Thanks for the hide!

On the way out, she noticed that if you stand at the right spot, you can make their sign say "Please Wait to be Eated"!

Times being what they are (Indifferent? No, just busy!), we were unable to properly schedule our date until the last weekend of the performances, August 2nd and 3rd. The other details of the evenings can be found nearby. Here's what we thought of the plays.

Hamlet

Prior to this weekend I had dusted off my old Yale Shakespeare to re-read. I had forgotten that Hamlet was "just a bunch of old quotes strung together" and re-reading helped bring those famous lines back to the forefront.

CSF did a marvelous job with our local talent and made the evening quite enjoyable. Dusten Welch (Hamlet) was (in my wife's words) either not feeling well or truly mad and either way, his performance worked for us. Erin Barnes (Ophelia) made you want to skip around the stage along with her when she was in love and rush out to comfort her as we watched her heartrending decent toward her death. She captured the "O, woe is me" (III.i.164) very well as she came undone and unraveled before us. She may actually be my favorite performance in this play.

The performance was well-done with both the minimal scenery, props and actors. Nothing was superfluous and yet nothing was lacking either. The partitions were well used and act and scene delineations were clear when they needed to be. The sound was adequate as both the actors and the sound system fought against the gentle NNE wind that cooled us that evening.

All-in-all we had a wonderful evening with a great play and a moving performance with convincing acting. CleveShakes did a wonderful job.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

Although I probably didn't need it, I dusted off my 1991 paperback of this name and this past week re-read it as well. Stoppard's mastery of the English language comes out very well in this work. He takes common words, uses them uncommonly, weaves them in such a way as to obfuscate his desired meaning and supplies alternate meanings as the situation calls for it.

I'm not certain how CSF cast the actors for either of these plays. I doubt I would have chosen Allen Branstein (Rosencrantz) or Erin McCardle (Guildenstern) for either (or both) of these works but they both surprised me and delighted me. I think their casting became clearer in R&G as we watched them play off each other and bring Stoppard's work to life. Branstein was convincingly off-kilter while McCardle tried to ground him. And a female Guildenstern? Well, that worked, too.

In fact this time around I noticed a steady and gradual increase in Rosencrantz' madness while Guildenstern actually grew more grounded. I was impressed with both their performances.

At one point my wife poked me and commented that the dialog was maddening, but I would place that more as Stoppard's responsibility than the actors. (Or perhaps she hears such back-and-forth near-meaningless dialog from the children all day?)

My sole complaint was the after-ending when R&G appeared from after being declared "dead" to begin spinning coins again. Perhaps it was an attempt to continue the humor and comedy of this play after the large body count at Hamlet's ending. Maybe that makes it more family friendly, but they were "dead" and dead they should remain. A minor point perhaps, but it did lessen my enjoyment and confuse my wife.

Overall

Many thanks to CSF for putting these two marvelous plays on and making them so accessible. There were large audiences both evenings and folks genuinely seemed to have good time. I certainly enjoyed both and so did my wife. Being able to do so in a weekend was icing on the cake.